My Gramma(also blogging while buzzed..)

heh...Thanks for the inspiration Keely!!
I just downed 2 bottles of Woodchuck cider...YUM. nectar of the gods I say..
(also, did you know that my grade school principal was Dr Keely?? I loved him..he was an ex-Marine..and an army reservist..he would put the smack down on any kid who gave him shit..and he DID frequently..but he knew EVERY kids name..every one..he died of melanoma a few years ago...it saddened me..he was awesome...)

I got a phone call today, my Gramma went to the hospital..I talked to her earlier today..she was fine..but around noon, she suddenly began vomiting A LOT, passed out, had intestinal issues, was dizzy sweaty and kind of out of it...SO my Aunt called the ambulance, my gram was NOT impressed..I was on pins and needles waiting to hear what was wrong..
apparently she has the Flu..that and a reaction to Amoxicillin she just started taking last night..they ran all sorts of blood work, and she was sent home w/ a Flu DX..and is resting now..
It scared the bejezus out of me..
she is 78...no spring chicken..she has 9 kids, and 38 grandchildren..plus her Great grand children..I am the oldest of the grandkids..and I am 34...

She is fastidious about her health, she goes to Dr appts regularly and takes her medicine...she has 4 other siblings who did NOT do these things and they are no longer with us..she is smart..funny..tolerant..insightful..and a damn saint for having raised SEVEN boys and not killed them or herself..my aunts were challenging too..lol..but there were 2 of them..
Hell she raised me every weekend of my life practically...I spent every weekend w/ her and almost all summer until I left home at 18...I was like her 10th kid..
and she helped to fill spaces in my life that were lacking b/c of my parents divorce..I am a firm believer that it saved me..her extra attention...she is like a second mom to me..
She is the glue that holds our family together...



I know someday soon she is going to die..but, I have a hard time dealing w/ that..I have been bracing myself for it..(despite what I say to her..she will say 'when I die..xyz..and I say STOP it..we don't want to hear it...lol..but I do need to hear it..coz we all die..)
but the child in me, she wants to think her gramma is going to live forever..and make her awesome potroast until the end of time..and be there to glare when someone says a swear in her earshot..and tell me when I need to do something different w. my boys..and listen to me whine about my husband..and make pecan tassies at xmas..make her siganture HAM GRAVY..which rocks the party...and NOT burn the candles everyone buys her for xmas..

when she goes, I will miss so many things...so much of her is me..I look like her, I move like her..she is important in my life..

The silly dog of mine

OK so this dog is pretty fun..we got him from a local rescue 3 yrs ago...his name is Zoe (why, we don't know..he is a HE for sure..but it fits him..) he is a german shep terrier mix..just an awesome dog..maybe not that bright sometimes..lmao..but he is a wonderful fit for our family..
WELL one of his favorite past-times is to lay in the sun in my eldest sons room..you can find him up there on ANY sunny day at all..basking..
the funny part is that he will lay in the sun for so long, he starts PANTING..I told him I wouldn't be surprised if he gave himself heat stroke..lol..
I managed to snap a pic of him today...panting..as he lays in the sun..
PS excuse my fat old lady arms..ICK.

What I realized in therapy

so I was in my weekly(!) therapy yesterday and as I am talking about my week, the subject rolled around to my families history of mental illness.
I realized that I have 4 relatives that have been hospitalized for MI..my mom's dad..an uncle, an aunt & a cousin....this does not include any stints in rehab, of which I have 3 more relatives who have done that.
THAT is frightening.
My mom's dad was schizophrenic....so was one of her uncles..
I mean I know that my family history is peppered with mental illness and addictions..on BOTH sides..but I never realized how bad it is..
It is SCARY.
I know I have a DX of Major Depression...it is a nasty nasty thing that is quite obviously genetic..I am currently medicated & am in a remission..thank god. I just never quite REALLY 'got' the scope of my genetic probability of having a mental illness...I think I never had a prayer to NOT have one.
I also have addictions running rampant in my family tree..
alcoholics on BOTH sides, bad.
Rehab bad & some who have QUIT drinking all together..we are talking 2 generations deep...
My mother broke the cycle w/ her & passed that onto my sister and I. Neither one of us have any inclination to be an alcoholic...thanks Mom.
I worry for my kids because Del's side of the family has addictions as well. I pray that Del & I have broken that cycle and that we can not pass on the behavior to the kids...I think we have.
I know we have stopped the cycle of dysfunction that we witnessed as children (my parents being divorced since I was 2, his being in a shitty marriage & dysfunctional grandparents marriages as well...we saw few healthy relationships in our lives..)

I wonder how abnormal my family tree is...anyone else have some loonies tucked back in the corners of their family tree???
heh.
I can say loonies, since I am one..
I am just glad I know it & I have the resources to keep my mind healthy!!
Depression is NASTY & I hope to GOD that if you have never had it, you never do.
Its like being in a black pit of despair.
I always likened it to being in a hole, just deep enough to be able to reach the edge, & when you do grab onto the edge, and try to hoist yourself out, the dirt under your hand crumbles..so you try again, and it crumbles..and that is what keeps happening no matter where you grab..so you can NEVER climb out..
simply put, it is HELL on earth.

Sushi anyone?

SO we are going to go to a local Japanese steak house tonight for dinner, and as I was perusing their menu online, I saw that they have SUSHI!
I have never had GOOD sushi (the one time I did try it was in a Chinese buffet..yeah..not such a good idea..I.c.k.y)
and I have heard to many peeps rave about it..I want to try it!!!

any advice on what to try or what to steer clear of?

Fun filled day w/ the family

went to a local amusement park w/ my sister and the family..her company pays for 2 tickets outright, and then offers a decent discount on the rest, so we got lunch & all for the price of 25 a ticket..not too bad..and the Big Boy took a friend..
which was nice, because we could send them off to a ride they wanted to ride and we didn't and not worry...it was FUN..
http://www.kennywood.com/

We rode the Phantoms Revenge (more info here ), the Jack Rabbit & the Racer..Gav was STILL not tall enough for the thunderbolt...which was a bummer since it is one of my faves..so the older kids went on it alone..and we went on the PitFall which was WICKEDLY fun...I screamed like a 6 YO girl..lol..
the SwingShot was also fun (this is on the same link and the PitFall..scroll around you will find it)
Oddly, I am terrified of heights(well, of falling..and landing..lol..) but I LOVE roller coasters and scary rides..granted, I ride w/ my eyes closed most of the time..lmao..but the sensations are awesome..
Oh and the Aero 360 which goes TOTALLY upside down...the big boys chickend OUT completely..hehe..

Gav rode EVERYTHING we did and was not scared..he surprises me sometimes..of course, this is the SAME child that as an an infant, would not cry till the second or 3rd shot at his DR appts..so..this fits in w/ his personaility completely..

all in all a GREAT day...now I am TIRED, my feet are sore, and my throat hurts from all the childlike screaming..hehe..

but it was way fun!!