Death knows no boundaries

a high profile death always makes me think..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natasha_Richardson
I know her name, but that is about it..couldnt tell you what movies she is in..lol..

It doesn't matter how much or how little money you have, how much notoriety, how much someone loves you or how much someone hates you...death doesn't care.

It makes you want to cherish and love those close to you that much more...it makes you notice the little things..be grateful for the small moments in life...

something as simple as the cute look your kids make...the dog climbing onto your lap..holding hands w/ your other half as you fall asleep..a phone call from a friend...it all makes you happy to be alive, happy to be where you are..happy it isn't you who has to explain to your kids why mommy isn't coming home...It makes all the small annoyances in life seem like NOTHING...

I remember when my grampa died in 1988...that was so traumatic for me as a 13 YO..It was so damn hard for me to know he was never going to be coming home, that I wouldn't ever hear him call me 'Kid # 1' (I was the oldest grandkid..so I was kid #1...) that he wouldn't be in his office when I went to visit every weekend...he was gone.
when my gramma (moms mom) died in august of 07, that was not as traumatic, it was a shock and partially a relief coz she was steadily declining in health and between her and my uncle who had a mental breakdown, my mom was stretched beyond the limit...it made me sad to know I would never go on another shopping trip w. her and my mom & sister again, she wouldn't ever get to go on another bus trip to atlantic city...but she was at peace, and not suffering anymore..

I know when I come home tonight from work, I am going to hug my babies and thank god I am here, that they are here..I know this will evoke squalls of "stop it mom" from the oldest..but the youngest will eat it up ;)
THAT is what I need to cherish, to relish..
and I know when we go to bed tonight and i watch my shows, we will snuggle up together and I will be glad I have someone, as flawed as he may be..I love him...

one of my friends is also going thru a loss, Jamie & her family are dealing with her grandmother's accident and possible death right now, keep her in your thoughts and prayers or whatever you do.

and go hug your babies and enjoy those little things

Lazy one!

OK, so we all know *someone* in the relationship is lazier than the other...could be just a little, could be a LOT..
who is it in yours?

In ours, I am more on the lazy side by and large...maybe it should be called more 'lax'..
Del is very very fastidious in many ways..he is neat by nature (I am most certainly NOT) and that I think makes him more apt to be a go getter and get moving faster on projects( and actually finish them! I am notorious for not finishing things..)
I on the other hand am much better at cooking than he..I can get better deals...on anything really..
I tend to look at things much more positively than he..

how does it work for you all?

This was sparked by comments & a post at Her Bad Mother

What I realized in therapy

so I was in my weekly(!) therapy yesterday and as I am talking about my week, the subject rolled around to my families history of mental illness.
I realized that I have 4 relatives that have been hospitalized for MI..my mom's dad..an uncle, an aunt & a cousin....this does not include any stints in rehab, of which I have 3 more relatives who have done that.
THAT is frightening.
My mom's dad was schizophrenic....so was one of her uncles..
I mean I know that my family history is peppered with mental illness and addictions..on BOTH sides..but I never realized how bad it is..
It is SCARY.
I know I have a DX of Major Depression...it is a nasty nasty thing that is quite obviously genetic..I am currently medicated & am in a remission..thank god. I just never quite REALLY 'got' the scope of my genetic probability of having a mental illness...I think I never had a prayer to NOT have one.
I also have addictions running rampant in my family tree..
alcoholics on BOTH sides, bad.
Rehab bad & some who have QUIT drinking all together..we are talking 2 generations deep...
My mother broke the cycle w/ her & passed that onto my sister and I. Neither one of us have any inclination to be an alcoholic...thanks Mom.
I worry for my kids because Del's side of the family has addictions as well. I pray that Del & I have broken that cycle and that we can not pass on the behavior to the kids...I think we have.
I know we have stopped the cycle of dysfunction that we witnessed as children (my parents being divorced since I was 2, his being in a shitty marriage & dysfunctional grandparents marriages as well...we saw few healthy relationships in our lives..)

I wonder how abnormal my family tree is...anyone else have some loonies tucked back in the corners of their family tree???
heh.
I can say loonies, since I am one..
I am just glad I know it & I have the resources to keep my mind healthy!!
Depression is NASTY & I hope to GOD that if you have never had it, you never do.
Its like being in a black pit of despair.
I always likened it to being in a hole, just deep enough to be able to reach the edge, & when you do grab onto the edge, and try to hoist yourself out, the dirt under your hand crumbles..so you try again, and it crumbles..and that is what keeps happening no matter where you grab..so you can NEVER climb out..
simply put, it is HELL on earth.

My theory on natural selection

OK so we know Natural Selection weeds out the weak and/or stupid people in the world..stupid people do stupid things, and therefore their stupid genes don't get passed on b/c stupidity kills.
WELL, this all went awry with Ugh and Ogh..cavemen.
Ugh was the smarter of the 2
Ogh was the dumbass..
Ugh became fond of Ogh for whatever reason (hey- stupidity is amusing to the rest of us..)
One day Ogh was going to go club a sabertooth for dinner, he went about it stupidly however(took a club instead of an arrow. for instance), and was very close to being the saber tooths dinner
Ugh felt badly for him, and his conciseness got the best of him and he had to go save him from being sabertooth kibble.
And this, Ogh lived to procreate.
Every stupid person in the universe is related to Ogh.

Ugh cared too much.
Which is why we STILL have stupid people.
No one lets them fuck up and die like they should.

next time you see someone stupid doing something deadly..do us all a favor..walk away ;)

Me, waxing philosophical

was reading another blog, the poster was talking about religious beliefs..
I was surprised at how many people do not believe in a god or a higher power...
maybe I am just that simplistic, or that much of a Pollyanna, but I had NO idea so many people are atheists...
my beliefs are just that- I do believe.. I do not know for sure that there is a god, but I do believe in God...faith is what it boils down to for me..I have faith that there is a higher being than me..

I don't pray perse,
I don't go to church (organized religion has left a bad taste in my mouth...)
I am a lapsed Catholic(but aren't more catholics lapsed than not?)
But I do believe..
I went to church w/ my gramma when I was a kid...my mom washed her hands of the church when they annulled her marriage to my dad when they divorced and he remarried a few years later..but she never gave me any negative feedback..

is it because my life has been relatively trauma free that I have Faith?
maybe...but I have had my own personal traumas in other areas..

what is your belief??