Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The story of my best friend and I

I have had my best friend Nadine since we were in grade school...
prolly 3rd grade..
we have always been close..
her family is my adopted family..i love them :)

When she was 17, she ended up pregnant..her first time even..and she hid it from her mom and dad for 5-6 months..when she did tell was quite the scandal and no one outside of her household knew..not even her grandparents..
once, her gramma came to visit unexpectedly, and we had to camouflage her 8 months pregnant belly w/ a laundry basket filled w/ totally
She decided to place him up for adoption..found a nice family(a presby preacher who had interestingly enough, had adopted the daughter of a friend of ours...) locally.
when she delivered Michael, I was there.
I cried w/ her when she relinquished him, I watched her suffer silently, missing her baby boy for months..all the while she insisted that she was OK, which she was, she knew he had to be given was just not possible financially to keep him.
And we were hard to raise a baby at that age..when you are still babies yourselves.
But I knew she was hurting more than she let on..she slept w/ his hospital blanket for months, breathing in the smell of him, to comfort her aching heart.

Life moved on, she healed(mostly) and we grew up..
she lived w/ Del and I in SLC utah for a bit, that ended badly, and we didn't speak for a few years..we lost touch since Del & I moved back to Pa..and she joined the Job Corps and experienced life in a way I never will..she fought wildfires, learned to her GED..and lived alone & away from anyone she knew.

I saw her mom 3 yrs later, and asked after Nadine...mummy(as I call her) arranged for us to meet, heal our old wounds, and we became as tight as ever.
I even gave back to her a bag of her belongings I carried w/ me from place to place since we left Utah.
She was amazed that I had kept it all.
I told her that I knew we would find each other again.
One thing I have always told her is that if reincarnation does exist, that we have ALWAYS been in each others lives. always.
It is like we have known each other for lifetimes, we know each other THAT well.
We kept in sporadic contact over the years, since I lived in Harrisburg & her in Western Pa.
we went out when I was home visiting and talked regularly.
Then her and her family moved to North Dakota.
We talked off and on but I was raising a family & she was working the hours of a single woman so we didn't get to talk much.
She met a man she loved, they had a son & we talked regularly after that.
sharing the ups and downs of motherhood and relationships.

2 yrs ago, her relationship began to fall apart..he was not sleeping w her in bed..he was out all hours..just didn't seem right. While she was content to be home w/ her son and the boy she raised from 3 yrs old (her BF's son- and her son as well as far as she in concerned)
Well, the worst thing ever happened and she discovered he was cheating on her..and not only that, but for TWO years.
She was totally ruined her self esteem and she basically had a mental breakdown, over a period of time.
She eventually healed enough to be functional, but it was a long hard road, fraught with many relapses and tears.
She almost lost her son to his father..and finally she got him back...and thought she had her man back too..but alas, that was not the case.
THEN she came up pregnant to this man, again.
He doesn't want her to keep it, he pressures her to keep her mouth shut and have an abortion.
She refuses and decided to give him up for adoption.
This morning after a high risk pregnancy and many worries, she delivered a healthy 7 lb son.
His new family is there, fawning over him , ecstatic to have a baby when they cannot have one themselves.
She knows she has to do this, and has made her peace with this.
BUT, I know she is going to be hurting so badly.

Keep her in your thoughts today.
I wish I could be there, but it is not in the cards right now.
SO I will do what I have done for the past 2 years, talk to her, listen to her tears and love her w/ all my heart.
It will have to be enough.

This is us 2 yrs ago when she came to visit

THIS is us in Highschool

This is us last year when we went to visit her