Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Random Tuesday Thoughts

*whew*
I made it thru the holidays...
largely w/o booze..lol..my mom did bring some kick ass wine to xmas eve tho..Almondine I think it was called?
It has a lovely almond after taste..yum.

OK so onto random thuesday thoughts :)

randomtuesday

1-I am kidless tonight..and what are we doing? NADA. that just seems wrong...

2-anyone else find the Progressive Insurance commercials annoying??? I do..I wanna take Flo & her tricked out name tag and ship them to Bora-Bora (wherever that may be..)

3-I am making an extraordinary amount of typos tonight...seriously..if I didn't correct myself it would look like a drunken 6 year old typed it..

4-my hair needs cut.

5-the kids got Nintendo DS's for xmas..and I am GEEKED out over Zelda..lol...I think I have played it more than Gav..I am serious...looking up cheats online and everything. see? geek...

6-I made up a new word..awesomely...lol..(OK so my spell checker says it is a word...but none the less...)

7-my shoulder feels awesomely (new word alert!) PT is almost over...woooo!

8-my crazy neighbors are breaking up..which means The Spawn is going to be moving coz his dad is filing for custody (rightly so since she is a drunk who refuses to dry out & she is mean ...) lets pray for a quick foreclosure so I can get new NICE neighbors...or less crazy..which ever..anything is better than what we got now..lol..

9-I have lost TWO Ulta eyeliners in the last 2 months...TWO. WTF??? they are they nice ones...plastic where you turn it to get the eyeliner out...never runs...I am so annoyed..I have to FIND them. and fast.

10- i'm hungry. and wanna go get a beer (or a Woodchuck cider which is my equivalent)

ETA check out The Un-Mom- the originator of Random Tuesday Thoughts..she has spiders trying to fall into her chilled red wine..(shhhh don't tell the wine police...)

Friday, December 19, 2008

why I LOVE my birthday!

see, I am a HUGE geek about my birthday...even at 34.
It is a day I can reflect on myself and who I have become...
I can remember w/ fondness my past birthdays..and know I am wiser now...
age is but a number to me..I don't feel any older now than when I was 18...wiser-HELL yeah, older not so much...
It is a day where I can feel giddy about a passing year...feel all excited because it is the anniversary of the date i entered the world, and made it a better place!!
and lets not forget the PRESENTS..and the dinner we always go out for..
even tho it IS 6 days before Xmas..it is STILL special to me..my mom ALWAYS went out of her way to make it fun, and a BIRTHDAY despite being so close to Xmas (she always had a party for me..now granted, I had my presents under the Xmas tree..heh..THAT was cool tho..) she always said it wasn't like I asked to be born so close to a major holiday..(even tho I was THREE weeks late..my due Date was 12/1!!)
My presents were ALWAYS wrapped in bday paper and not xmas (not so much now..she is slacking..lmao..)
& I always got SEPARATE gifts...never got ripped off..

I am a Sagittarius..on the cusp of Capricorn..I have Taurus rising which makes me more of a homebody...Sag's are typically lucky people, which I am to a degree, and klutzy, which is me..heh..TOTALLY.
We have happy go lucky..exhuberant and generally fun to be around..I am adventerous, social (sometimes..lol..) and know a little bit about everything, b.c I LOVE to learn..anything.
I have great comic timing...and remember WAY too many things..my ruling planet is Jupiter..hence the luck...I am a Fire sign, which you would know if you knewmy temper..lol..takes quite a lot to piss me off,but oohh buddy when I do go off..NOT fun...
I am very intense..& I hate to be penned in by anyone for any reason..jealousy sucks..lol..and i am not jealous by any means..
I am open minded by and large..and a live and let live kinda person..I am spontaneous too...AND very positive!! I love to give gifts ;)

of course, this sign has its bad sides too...we can embarrass our loved ones by accident by replaying their silly moments...we can also be tactless...I tend to like to spend money...sometimes frivolously..and I LOVE to accumulate stuff..also bad..lol..I can be moralistic sometimes to a dangerous fault..and I can be too free w/ my opnions..and WAY too honest sometimes...the small details in life always get me...lol..chores suck and have a horrible time making myself do things!

I found this is a description of Sag's Sagittarius governs the hips, thighs and sacral area; some astrologers consider Sagittarians as tending to suffer from ailments of the hips and thighs and being prone to sciatica and rheumatism.
THIS makes sense since my hips & thighs are well. bountiful..lmao...
my gemstone is Turquoise..which is good luck for me..and i love it ;)


OK so tonight I am going gambling at Mountaineer...yay! It is going to be fun...hopefully I will hit big..and Tom. I am going to do my bday dinner w/ the fam...

OK enough geekiness from me!!
I am off to get ready!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

THIS is a funny worthy of my attitude

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

Me and where i have been

bleh.
It has not been a fun place in my addled brain...
this will get a tad heavy, so be warned..

I do suffer from depression (currently held in check w/ cymbalta...) and ADD, which is not being treated at the moment due to BP issues, I am hoping to get back on those wonderful meds soon...since my BP is under control now..

My marriage has been in a rough patch for a good year now, that brought on alot of reflection on my part..and then the bottom fell out...
not that it is horrible here, I am just now coming to the realization of HOW HARD being married is...and in specific to my husband, god knows he is a good man, but he has as many issues as I do, as different as they are, they are just as serious..and our issues together do not make for much fun.
He is a very particular person, a neat freak some may say, and has NO clue how to dissipate stress, and it builds too much in him..and he lashes out in a way that is impossible for me to deal with..he goes on a neatness rampage, which for me is NOT good. the ADD In me makes me want to be a pack rat..I fight it, but it is a struggle...and thus you see the crux of my problem...

I have come to realize in the past few weeks that he is NEVER going to change and that is scary to me..and has led me to wonder if I CAN be here with him in all of this for the rest of my life...
hence the depression wheedling its way back in...
I am honestly not sure where this is all going to go..
I do know that I love him still, and don't want to be w/o him, but do I have what I need to have IN MYSELF to deal w/ it for 50 years..I don't know...
bleh.
I have to work thru it within ME before I can go to him with it...and that is hard....
and what is scarier, is that *I* am the steadying force in this house..ME, major depression DX'd, ADD addled me..(also ruled by my hormonesm once a month...)
I am the one who has to maintain a calm level head...and that my friends, is truly frightening...
and very difficult..

add into that my eldest son, who is struggling in school, and has finally been given an IEP for his reading comprehnsion...FINALLY after 3 rounds of testing over 5 years of school...that is a relief on one hand and on the other hand, it raises Mommy Guilt..could i Have done more for him, can I really get my ass on the ball, mommy guilt is ugly. Is it MY genetics that have led him here..is it MY failings that have led him here...and on & on...

SO that is where I have been, buried within the depths of my mind, for weeks..not fun I say not fun at all..

enough heavy shit for now...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Akk techinical difficulties!?!?!

Wow.
HOW in the HELL did those 2 blog images end up on my header??
This is the one thing I hate about changing templates...gggrrrr

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Im bbbaaaacccckkkkkkk!
long story as to why I have been absent, but rest assured it doesn't involve alien abduction or death...I will fill you all in later on today...

and I am back for Random Tuesday Thoughts! Yay!
randomtuesday

I am SO not done w/ my xmas shopping...not even SLIGHTLY close....money is TIGHT this year and I am giving myself a stomach ulcer trying to figure out how to make it all work

My birthday is FRIDAY! w00t baby! I am a huge geek and LOVE my birthday....love it. I will be 34 this year and doesn't bother me a bit!

I am going to a Casino for some penny slots too- coincidentally it is on my bday, (we planned it as a holiday outing, but it ended up being on my bday..hehe....)

I absolutely LOVE snow. it is SO pretty...makes the world appear clean and new. Then it melts and gets dirty and looks nasty....I am done w/ it by Feb...

It is 8:22 am and I Have to leave the house at 9 and I am NOT showered or dressed.

Since I am a hairstylist, I can do my hair when I get to work..it is SO awesome. I can also paint my nails when it is slow..hehe....

I have yet to see A Christmas Story this year..I love that movie!! it is so awesome...

My OVEN is fixed and functional after a WHOLE year of being busted...I have sorely missed it!!!

I am glad to be back in the Blogoverse..missed you all!


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Random Tuesday Thoughts

randomtuesday

I am going to echo Keely's 'wow'- it's Tuesday already! damn.
time flies when you are on percocet(see this for further explanations)

1-it is SNOWING already.Novemeber 17th..snow. I know, I live in Pa, but sheesh...sounds like it is going to be a long cold winter! It is SO pretty tho...watching the whole world turn white & clean!

2-I am already stalking Black Friday ads. The hubby wants to get an LCD TV..ugh. men and their toys. The best I have seen so far is 699 at Kmart ON thanksgiving. which I may end up doing.

3-I took a NAP today...and a whole lot of NOTHING else. I guess being a klutz has it's advantages. heh. well, except for the 'no work' thing..not missing huge amounts of money, but every bit helps.

4- WHY are little boys so damn weird. I mean the can be loveable, but they can be just plain weird. Spastic & Weird. I guess not alot changes as they get older....

5- Gav told me last night that The Spawn is afraid of me..haha! My mission in life has been accomplished! This child listens to me more than his own father...lol..now we know why!!!

6-I have to take Physical Therapy for my shoulder. Should be interesting. I have never had PT before, tho I hear they are little Hitlers that enjoy torturing people.lol. ..we shall see.

7- I make my own hot cocoa mixes, and I also make my own Pancake & Waffle mixes. I haven't used or bought a premade mix in YEARS. I have all the ingredients on hand, so it is no harder than adding water, just takes a few more minutes. AND they are SO so much better. you should try it sometime!

and so ends anther edition of Random Tuesday Thoughts.The next one will be here before you know it!

Recipe Alert- the BEST hot cocoa ever.

This is one of the BEST homemade hot cocoa recipes out there. Makes Swiss Miss look like a $5 hooker..rofl...


Taste of Home

Nutrition Facts

One serving: (1/3 cup)
  • Calories:
  • 227
  • Fat:
  • 2 g
  • Saturated Fat:
  • 1 g
  • Cholesterol:
  • 6 mg
  • Sodium:
  • 182 mg
  • Carbohydrate:
  • 47 g
  • Fiber:
  • 2 g
  • Protein:
  • 9 g

Hot Drink Mix

SERVINGS

15


PREP

5 min.

TOTAL

5 min.

INGREDIENTS

  • 2-1/2 cups nonfat dry milk powder
  • 2 cups white or pastel miniature marshmallows
  • 1 cup instant chocolate or strawberry drink mix
  • 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar
  • 1/3 cup buttermilk blend powder
  • 1/3 cup powdered nondairy creamer
  • ADDITIONAL INGREDIENT (for each batch):
  • 3/4 cup boiling water

DIRECTIONS

In a large bowl, combine the first six ingredients. Store in an airtight container in a cool dry place for up to 6 months. Yield: 15 batches (5 cups total).
To prepare hot drink: Dissolve 1/3 cup mix in boiling water; stir well. Yield: 1 serving.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

the ways I hurt myself....

yes, I am a klutz....I have a LONG history of being this way.
one of my earliest memories is of falling down stairs and hurting my arm...I was prolly 3...at my step-grammas house and got to close to the edge of the stairs..I remember quite vividly my vision vibrating as I bounced down the stairs...and I ended up at the hospital w/ a sling...
another incident w/ stairs was when I was 10, and I was at a pool party and it was late...I went to get some food and as I walked down the stairs from the porch to eat, I slipped on the wet wood and fell, hurting my back in the process...ended up in the ER...I was fine tho...
I have a history of various accidents..riding my bike down the hill behind my house when I was 10 or 11..I hit a rock & went ass over tea-kettle and had a massive scrape on my knee for the start of school..
when I was 9 I got hit in the eyebrow area w/ a rock..bratty kid threw it at me...have the scar 24 yrs later to show for it...
various ankle sprains thru the years...and MRI on the knee from falling down stairs 4x in one month...
fractured a toe from stepping wrong off (wait for it...) stairs...
and the coup degras breaking my ankle on BOTH sides when I twisted my ankle and fell, putting all my weight on it..I ended up needing surgery and became the proudowner of a plate and six screws..

My latest fiasco involves falling down stairs, I was coming down to shut off a light, after I had been dozing in bed, and whenI stepped, the edge of the stair hit the arch of my foot, causing me to slip & bounce on my ass, down about half of the stairs...and in the process, my right arm hit every other stair, and I DISLOCATED my shoulder.
OW-fucking-CH.
I knew it was not right.
I could NOT Move it...you could feel the muscles bulging forward unnaturally..and the PAIN was excruciating...
this was at 11 PM..call the hubby, and off to the ER we go...got there about 12:30 or so...took till 3 AM to see the DR and no pain killers till then.
none.
but then I got Fentanyl...which ROCKED the house...and something else too..
and they reset my shoulder...it hurt like a MOFO..I said some CHOICE words (sorry mom & gramma...I sounded like a drunken sailor) and when the joint when back into place, it felt GOOD. like heaven must feel....
I am still sore, and in a sling for a few weeks...BUT everything is back where God intended it to be...heh..and the bestest thing?
I got PERCOET babey...yehaww...I heart percs...I have never had them before...and I like them!!!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Me and my misplaced sense of guilt

fuck.
yeah, it is never good when I start out w/ a foul word....

SO The Spawns father is coaching basketball this year, and wants Gav to join the team...I tried to put the kibosh on it from the start but he is not intelligent enough to get it, or is too stubborn to take a damn hint...I do NOT want the following 2 things to happen...

  1. Gav to have to spend any more time around The Spawn than necessary..living this close to him is more than enough..
  2. I do NOT want to be publicly associated w/ his father....it sounds so mean and so bitchy...but it is true...you associate w/ those that are looked upon poorly (and behave poorly) then you end up being lumped in w. them and I am NOT doing that. not. He is not a *horrible* guy, but he is not that bright, and that household is messed UP and dysfunctional...

that being said, that team needs sponsored, and Del agreed to sponsor it w/ his electrical side business..which is OK...it is the team, not that coach, that is sponsored....

so he asked me AGAIN tonight if Gav wants to play (and to be clear, he NEVER mentioned any interest in playing b-ball before..now he mentioned it, but it is b/c of The Spawn wanting to play...and he has played a team sport this year..football..he can wait till spring to play again...)
I said, no I want him to wait till spring to play any more team sports, to which he says that he need Gav for an 8th player..WTF?
DO NOT back me into a corner. period.
I maintained and said no still..but I feel like a horrible bitch...but not at the same time..
bleh.
I call it Catholic Guilt..I was raised Catholic and have always had a misplaced sense of guilt....and so do most other Catholics..I say the baptismal water causes it..just a theory tho..

Flagrantly Lazy Friday

yes, that is me. flagrantly lazy...
I am reading fanfic today and have not moved off of this chair in like 2 hrs..SHAME on me..I need to be doing...stuff...housewifely stuff..like cleaning..and vacuuming..
and I also need a shower...
I also need to buy a birthday gift, deposit a paycheck & go to the grocery store...bleh...& I work tomorrow.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

my weird skin issues

I have always had skin prone to itching and acne..I can't use cheap lotion..makes me break out..some perfumes make my skin burn for a while..make up has to be good quality..can only use certain skin cleansers and very few moisturizers..most glittery lotions or powders make me itch or get blotchy...and I get yeast infections from cheap body washes (TMI I know..but had to share..) & lets not even go into body acne..mainly my back..ick. it sucks. comes from my dads side of the family..

I recently started using 2.5% benzoyl peroxide gel from acne.org and it has been fantastic...has stopped the mildly cystic acne I had around my jaw line completely..I only get them once in a great while, if at all.

I have had an odd thing happen before a breakout twice in as many months..once on my chin and now on the nape of my neck, just where my hairline ends...so usualy when you get a nasty 'cyctic' type zit, you feel a bump under the skin & pain at the same time..well, these have been PAIN first, like you whacked it against something, THEN 3-4 days later the bumps show up..all in all it lasts about 7-10 days before it goes away...but I am mystified at the way it is starting..the pain first..then the cystic like acne..it is annoying and I have never had it happen to me before...I hope it is a fluke..will be mentioning it at my next Dr appt...

anyone else have this happen?
anyone have similar skin issues as I do??
I have to use Clinique make up to have NO breakouts at all..and wash my face EVERY NIGHT. talk about a PITA. oily skin kinda sucks..but then I have few wrinkles, so I will be OK w/ it :)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Random Tuesday Thoughts

randomtuesday

I am joining the ranks of randomness begun by Keely @ The Un-Mom

  • I thought I beat the cold I was brewing, but alas, it seems I have developed a cough...bleh..I am annoyed by this, but it has not deterred me from having my 5 or less cigs in a day..bad bad me..
  • My dog is a spaz. seriously. he follows me ALL.over. the house...if I walk up the stairs, he follows me, even if I am only up there for 2 seconds..sometimes, I do it b/c it is fun to annoy him..
  • My eldest son has a friend, that is a girl..(NOT a girlfriend, right..Right???) they go roller-blading and play PlayStation a lot..but this morning my hubby saw him waiting for her to walk to the bus...heh...denial ain't just a river in egypt..and I like my little fantasy world I have constructed..it is nice here...(he wil be 12 in Jan...should I worry???)

  • I am late paying my property taxes. and I am annoyed I forgot..if I have to get a cashiers check to pay them I am going to be even more annoyed.

  • I saw a guy run a red light today..the turning lane got a green arrow, but the light to go straight stayed red..he TOTALLY almost caused an accident, good thing the jeep that was starting to turn was paying attention..jackass...

umm..OK I think that is all for now..completey random...


Saturday, November 8, 2008

Snicker Saturday

I am finding some good funny stuff!!

amy winehouse, wino, rehab, trains, wrecks
see famous look-a-like faces


and this too...tho this is just kinda freaky...

macauley culkin, kid rock, american badass, home alone
see famous look-a-like faces

Ha! THIS is FUNNY stuff

Makes me think of The Ringer..THAT is a good movie...

Heidi Montag
more lol celebs!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Been tagged!!!




By 2 peeps...one is WAY over due..(coz I am a ginormous slacker!...)
and one was just a few days ago!!
The First is from HoneyWine & the second 2 are from Julie @ Cool Mom Guide

and they both call for 6 or 7 random facts..so I am going w/ 7....

1- I have no full siblings...I have 2 sisters & a brother, but they are all half..not that it diminishes it at all...just I am a unique genetic expression! heh..if that is good or bad, I don't know..
2-I had 2 completely drug free deliveries w/ my kids..NOTHING. period. no epidural..no stadol..nothin....and if I would have a 3rd (not likely) I would have a home birth in a hot second!
my labors were 3.5 and 5 (about) hrs long..completely uncomplicated and easy in the grand scheme of child birth!
3- I am a Steelers fan, by genetics..lol..my family is full of fans, and I think I had no choice but to be one!! I LOVE football..the violence..it frikkin rocks!
4-I was engaged when I was 17...and as much as I don't regret it I think I would have heart failure if my kids got engaged at that age! mind you we did not marry until I was 21...but still..I don't know how my mother didn't lose her mind..
5-I broke my ankle almost 4 years ago, BOTH sides and had to have surgery for a plate & screws to put it all back together again...and I can FEEL the screws on my ankle..it is FUNNY to make people touch it!!
6-I did not drive until I was 22...YES, you read right...22...series of circumstances led me to wait, then we moved out of state where a class was required, and we were too poor to afford them..when I had my eldest son, then I got my license...
7-I smoke. Yes, I do! and I am no sorry, nor do I want to stop anytime soon..I dont smoke more than 3-5 a day tho..I can restrain myself if needed..and my MOTHER doesn't know..yes, I am 33 years old and my mom doesn't know I smoke..LOSAH..lmao..

K I am tagging some blogs now!!
La Chambre d'Orchidee

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Wordy Wednesday

heh..leave it to me to be different!
I am just full of many thoughts..mostly completely random..no cohesive theme..at all!
SO brace yourself!

Morning routines..as far as personal appearances go...Mine goes as follows..
Get up, suck down coffee..take shower..which includes exfoliating my face w/ one of those mesh glove thingies, every.day I must do this or I turn into a huge zit..then after I am dried off, I apply a 2% benzoyl peroxide gel to fight said zits... then I decide if I am too lazy to straighten my hair or not, if I am, gel it and diffuse it dry..if I am up for it, I straighten via a blow dryer and round brush, then a flat iron if needed...then I decide if my skin needs to be lotioned up, and choose a nice scent and do so..pick a perfume most days, and head out..now, one of the perks to being a stylist is that I can do my hair at work if I need to, or touch it up anyways...which I so take advantage of..I also apply my make up there..that so rocks..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thrift stores..I love thrift stores...they be awesome...most of my purses come from them..and they are super cute..I also get alot of new shoes there...and my kids get most of their jeans from them too..much of the pictures in my kitchen come from a thrift store..and alot of my books!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am re-reading Jean Auel Earths Children series..I am such a dork..but I LOVE them...it has captured my imagination from the first one I read...too bad she has to wait like 6 years inbetween books..*sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love my husband so much..I still get excited when he is on his way home...and when I see his truck pull in..I know..geeked out..lol...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am really digging this blogging thing..I have met some awesomely peeps..I hope I keep this going for a long time!!!

OK that is all for now

Shocker!

Yes, I changed my layout AGAIN...my god I am so easily distracted...and bored..

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Get out YOUR vote

I am voting today.
a luxury my great grandmother (who lived to be 99) did not have until she was an adult, simply because she was a woman..she never forgot that and voted in every election thereafter..
It always amazed me..thinking that someone I knew was not permitted to vote, simply because she was a she...and it made an impression on me.
While I am not thrilled w/ the pool of candidates this election year, I will be voting..
Both candidates have their scary parts to them..
Obama is VERY liberal..very..and that scares me. He wants to redistribute my wealth..that scares me..I worry that he will be able to defend this country should we go under attack again...
I do like that he is so new, fresh..not a life long politician..
McCain scares me because he is of the older school..what if he is the same as we have? We need something different..what if he is too out of touch w/ the common man...
I have no problem thinking he can defend this country sufficiently..and I feel he is has the intelligence to work w/ the mess the economy is in now..

all in all, a sad pool to choose from...but, vote I will- because it is important...people die for the right to choose their leaders...lets not forget that fact!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Remodeling hell is OVER

I am so doing the happy dance ;)
I LOVE LOVE love having a curved shower curtain rod..it gives you so much more ROOM..amazing..
brace your selves, this is a picture heavy post


OK, this is what you see when you walk in the door..(I may or may not keep that brown cabinet..I need the storage, but not sure if it matches...) the door was stripped and repainted and got a new knob!



This is looking at the vanity, w/ my accent wall!! and then a close up of the stippling technique (which was surprisingly easy!!)





THEN my shower curtain, I so love it..it is beautimous..then the wall w/ the solid color on it and the shelves/nook beside the sink..




I am also posting a link to befores of the bathroom..it is 50% bigger now,,before you could basically go in and take a max of 3-4 steps..it was SMALL..now you can actually WALK..it is so much nicer!



*this is the same shot as the plain green wall in the afters















Saturday, November 1, 2008

My kids doing Halloween Old School

Yes, my children decided to go Old School for halloween..*sniff* warms a mothers heart when they want to go as her favorite 80's horror characters!
Freddy & Jason (Freddy always was my favorite of all the horror peeps..he was not only scary, but sarcastically funny! I heart sarcasm!!)
They did very very well..despite one of Freddy's claws being broken & lost one mere hour before we were set to leave...daddy got some duct tape (if you can't duck it,fuck it as the saying goes..heh) and saved the day (he was impaired, but we chose to look at it as he was injured in a pre trick or treating battle w/ Jason...lol)
for your viewing pleasure

Friday, October 31, 2008

My life is TORTURE

OMFG...not only do I ALWAYS lose the neighbor lottery (never fails, I always live beside a freak of some kind..it is ridiculous!)
BUT they AlWAYS insist on being my FRIEND...or in THIS case my HUSBANDS friend..
The Spawn & his father are going trick or treating w/ us tonight.I want to cry, fall on the ground & CRY...kick, scream..throw things and bite someone.....ugh.
and of COURSE how the fuck do you say NO....I want to KILL my husband for being this guys friend..honest to GOD...
so now I get to deal with the Spawn's vacant looks..blatant not listening to his Dad..generally being an annoying little fucking brat.
I know, that sounds SO mean..but this kid drives me bonkers.
I am taking booze on this walk around town...lol...
I will update w/ a hopefully quick and painless story...ugh..

Friday, October 24, 2008

NEW TV shows & watching them online

OK, so I am admittedly a Sci-Fi geek..I LOVE Star Trek:TNG (Make it so Number 1..heh..love that line..)
I LOVE vampire stories (ala Stephanie Myers & Laurell K Hamilton )
I love time travel stories of any kind...LOVE them.
I also like prehistoric fiction (yes, very obscure...think Jean Auel )
This leads me to 2 TV shows I am currently addicted to (OK 3..)
True Blood on HBO..a reality where vampires are a 'race class' unto themselves and are able to go 'mainstream' (IE not drinking people blood) by the invention of a blood substitute called, Tru Blood (and it comes in different flavors, erm..TYPES, like O, A etc..hehe..love that)
AND it has some freaking awesome sex scenes..heh..

ALSO on the network TV front, I just started watching Life on Mars on ABC
basically, it is about a cop who gets hit by a car, and wakes up in 1973..hehe..talk about culture shock..I so dig the conceptof WHY he is there..and IF he is there...
and what is he supposed to do there?
Is it real? or is his 2008 life the fantasy.. *ohm* there is a mind clearing question...
I have also enjoyed learning more about the 1970's, the decade I was born in...the music is much better than I have ever been led to believe..

AND , now this is one me and the kids enjoy...
Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles
the time travel sucked me in, and the story has me hooked..it is an awesomely imaginative series...and it has some kick ass fights in it..coz lets face it..we all love some kick ass action!!

NOW where can you watch the last episodes??
www.surfthechannel.com
This frikking rocks..you can even watch the H.B.O shows there..love it.

What shows are you currently addicted to??
any you recommend??

Thursday, October 23, 2008

The silly dog of mine

OK so this dog is pretty fun..we got him from a local rescue 3 yrs ago...his name is Zoe (why, we don't know..he is a HE for sure..but it fits him..) he is a german shep terrier mix..just an awesome dog..maybe not that bright sometimes..lmao..but he is a wonderful fit for our family..
WELL one of his favorite past-times is to lay in the sun in my eldest sons room..you can find him up there on ANY sunny day at all..basking..
the funny part is that he will lay in the sun for so long, he starts PANTING..I told him I wouldn't be surprised if he gave himself heat stroke..lol..
I managed to snap a pic of him today...panting..as he lays in the sun..
PS excuse my fat old lady arms..ICK.

What I realized in therapy

so I was in my weekly(!) therapy yesterday and as I am talking about my week, the subject rolled around to my families history of mental illness.
I realized that I have 4 relatives that have been hospitalized for MI..my mom's dad..an uncle, an aunt & a cousin....this does not include any stints in rehab, of which I have 3 more relatives who have done that.
THAT is frightening.
My mom's dad was schizophrenic....so was one of her uncles..
I mean I know that my family history is peppered with mental illness and addictions..on BOTH sides..but I never realized how bad it is..
It is SCARY.
I know I have a DX of Major Depression...it is a nasty nasty thing that is quite obviously genetic..I am currently medicated & am in a remission..thank god. I just never quite REALLY 'got' the scope of my genetic probability of having a mental illness...I think I never had a prayer to NOT have one.
I also have addictions running rampant in my family tree..
alcoholics on BOTH sides, bad.
Rehab bad & some who have QUIT drinking all together..we are talking 2 generations deep...
My mother broke the cycle w/ her & passed that onto my sister and I. Neither one of us have any inclination to be an alcoholic...thanks Mom.
I worry for my kids because Del's side of the family has addictions as well. I pray that Del & I have broken that cycle and that we can not pass on the behavior to the kids...I think we have.
I know we have stopped the cycle of dysfunction that we witnessed as children (my parents being divorced since I was 2, his being in a shitty marriage & dysfunctional grandparents marriages as well...we saw few healthy relationships in our lives..)

I wonder how abnormal my family tree is...anyone else have some loonies tucked back in the corners of their family tree???
heh.
I can say loonies, since I am one..
I am just glad I know it & I have the resources to keep my mind healthy!!
Depression is NASTY & I hope to GOD that if you have never had it, you never do.
Its like being in a black pit of despair.
I always likened it to being in a hole, just deep enough to be able to reach the edge, & when you do grab onto the edge, and try to hoist yourself out, the dirt under your hand crumbles..so you try again, and it crumbles..and that is what keeps happening no matter where you grab..so you can NEVER climb out..
simply put, it is HELL on earth.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

painting my bathroom

freaking 2 years after remodeling it..i have had the colors for almost a year..so shameful..
but we ended up having to tear down an old plaster wall we didn't expect to have to tear down..we have the door freshly painted and the new drywall up and all it needs is one more coat of mud and sanded..
anywho..
HERE is my shower curtain

and these are the colors I am using, per sherwin williams paint chooser..the wall behind my mirror is going to be the dark brown (I am doing a stippling faux technique so it isn't such a solid color..)
the rest will be the halcyon green..
I am so damn excited to finish this I can't stand it

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Why vote for the lesser of 2 evils..

when you can vote for THE evil!
I so want to find a bumper sticker for my car...considering the pool of peeps to vote for this election year...this is very appropriate
check out my link for a better explanation ;)
http://www.cthulhu.org/
and remember- vote for the MOST evil (rofl)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Sarah Palins Facebook!

Found this at Mike's Notes & he found it at Holy Taco
check out the comments..hil-freaking-arious


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

adult ADD

yeah, when I say my 'ADD addled brain' I SO mean it..
I have been gtreated in the past for it w/ Adderall (sent from the GODS I say) and Ritalin (sent by someone who cares i.e. not as good as Adderall..but good)
SO today I was filling my pill box for the week, I added my cymbalta and then what I thought was my diuretic..then I took said pills for today...the diuretic tasted funny..so I look at the bottle and saw that it was my old RX for RITALIN (I stopped taking both Adderall and Ritalin b/c of my blood pressure..)
I am out of my diuretic and mistook my old Ritalin for it..
so this means 2 things..
1- I have to stop after work to get my script filled for the diuretic
2- I REALLY need to start taking something for my ADD again..I feel FANTABULOUS
my brain is working so much clearer and I am moving faster...
you never know how abnormal you are until you feel normal again..in my case, it is so painfully obvious...

Monday, October 6, 2008

totally looks like!

OK back from my self imposed exile..lol..
and back with a FUNNY!
check this OUT..I almost peed my pants when I saw this!


Amy Winehouse TotallyLooksLike.com Keith Richards
see famous look-a-like faces

Friday, September 26, 2008

New do!

So, I went into work to get my hair highlighted w/ my funky red highlights...and while my co-worker Kelly was drying me, she said ya know, I wanna do an inverted bob on your hair..I said OK..lmao..
and so she did!
it doesn't look that diff from the front, but the side angle is awesome!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

fun little quiz

Got this from Keely @ Un-Mom



I could survive for 54 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Thank you Captain Obvious

if THIS isn't the biggest "well DUH" in hollywood..lol..
Clay Aiken is GAY..

Monday, September 22, 2008

Sushi- the outcome

OK so we went, and it was YUMMY!!!
We got Spicy Tuna Rolls..even the KIDS Loved them.
lol
I am so getting it again!

I heart..

Lemon Lavender scent from Yankee Candle.
it just smells SO.GOOD.
what is your favorite candle scent?

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sushi anyone?

SO we are going to go to a local Japanese steak house tonight for dinner, and as I was perusing their menu online, I saw that they have SUSHI!
I have never had GOOD sushi (the one time I did try it was in a Chinese buffet..yeah..not such a good idea..I.c.k.y)
and I have heard to many peeps rave about it..I want to try it!!!

any advice on what to try or what to steer clear of?

Friday, September 19, 2008

baby pictures

well, Nadine is home and baby Brandon is w/ his mommy and daddy tonight.
She is doing amazingly well & so is her 6 year old.
I have pictures of him and his parents..
they are wonderful, beautiful people and are SO grateful to Nadine for allowing them to be parents.
They bought her a ring w/ a sapphire in it (Septembers birthstone) so she will always remember her son.
and they will be keeping in contact w/ Nadine and her son so he knows his brother is well taken care of. They are so sensitive to the situation, it is amazing.
for your viewing pleasure, one of the cutest babies I have seen and his new family...





Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The story of my best friend and I

I have had my best friend Nadine since we were in grade school...
prolly 3rd grade..
we have always been close..
her family is my adopted family..i love them :)

When she was 17, she ended up pregnant..her first time even..and she hid it from her mom and dad for 5-6 months..when she did tell them..it was quite the scandal and no one outside of her household knew..not even her grandparents..
once, her gramma came to visit unexpectedly, and we had to camouflage her 8 months pregnant belly w/ a laundry basket filled w/ clothes...it totally worked..lol..
She decided to place him up for adoption..found a nice family(a presby preacher who had interestingly enough, had adopted the daughter of a friend of ours...) locally.
when she delivered Michael, I was there.
I cried w/ her when she relinquished him, I watched her suffer silently, missing her baby boy for months..all the while she insisted that she was OK, which she was, she knew he had to be given up..it was just not possible financially to keep him.
And we were 17..so hard to raise a baby at that age..when you are still babies yourselves.
But I knew she was hurting more than she let on..she slept w/ his hospital blanket for months, breathing in the smell of him, to comfort her aching heart.

Life moved on, she healed(mostly) and we grew up..
she lived w/ Del and I in SLC utah for a bit, that ended badly, and we didn't speak for a few years..we lost touch since Del & I moved back to Pa..and she joined the Job Corps and experienced life in a way I never will..she fought wildfires, learned to weld..got her GED..and lived alone & away from anyone she knew.

I saw her mom 3 yrs later, and asked after Nadine...mummy(as I call her) arranged for us to meet, heal our old wounds, and we became as tight as ever.
I even gave back to her a bag of her belongings I carried w/ me from place to place since we left Utah.
She was amazed that I had kept it all.
I told her that I knew we would find each other again.
One thing I have always told her is that if reincarnation does exist, that we have ALWAYS been in each others lives. always.
It is like we have known each other for lifetimes, we know each other THAT well.
We kept in sporadic contact over the years, since I lived in Harrisburg & her in Western Pa.
we went out when I was home visiting and talked regularly.
Then her and her family moved to North Dakota.
We talked off and on but I was raising a family & she was working the hours of a single woman so we didn't get to talk much.
She met a man she loved, they had a son & we talked regularly after that.
sharing the ups and downs of motherhood and relationships.

2 yrs ago, her relationship began to fall apart..he was not sleeping w her in bed..he was out all hours..just didn't seem right. While she was content to be home w/ her son and the boy she raised from 3 yrs old (her BF's son- and her son as well as far as she in concerned)
Well, the worst thing ever happened and she discovered he was cheating on her..and not only that, but for TWO years.
She was devastated...it totally ruined her self esteem and she basically had a mental breakdown, over a period of time.
She eventually healed enough to be functional, but it was a long hard road, fraught with many relapses and tears.
She almost lost her son to his father..and finally she got him back...and thought she had her man back too..but alas, that was not the case.
THEN she came up pregnant to this man, again.
He doesn't want her to keep it, he pressures her to keep her mouth shut and have an abortion.
She refuses and decided to give him up for adoption.
This morning after a high risk pregnancy and many worries, she delivered a healthy 7 lb son.
His new family is there, fawning over him , ecstatic to have a baby when they cannot have one themselves.
She knows she has to do this, and has made her peace with this.
BUT, I know she is going to be hurting so badly.

Keep her in your thoughts today.
I wish I could be there, but it is not in the cards right now.
SO I will do what I have done for the past 2 years, talk to her, listen to her tears and love her w/ all my heart.
It will have to be enough.

This is us 2 yrs ago when she came to visit



THIS is us in Highschool
Photobucket

This is us last year when we went to visit her

Monday, September 15, 2008

EEEK! an AWARD!

AHHH! Thanks so much ! I am excited! this is my first!
HoneyWine gave this to me today! YAY!
I will be passing it along as directed!!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

another victim of my ADD

yes folks, I changed my template and layout AGAIN..
heh.
my attention span is so sh--oh look SHINY things!!